um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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