Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize