are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
