you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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