I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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