At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
