New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
