Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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