Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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