I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
