I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Green mimosas i think yes
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Randomize
