DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
