It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
