I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
