he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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