tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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