note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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