It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
