I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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