They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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