he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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