Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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