laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize