jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize