There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
