I love black thongs
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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