it hurts more in the daytime
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
