If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
