The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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