Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize