I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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