i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
