i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
