M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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