It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
