I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
