shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
