so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My vagina just clenched in fear
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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