Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
