i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
