worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
two words...techno handjob
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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