people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
