I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
It's like God shit irony all over that family
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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