Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
