Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
