At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
