HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
