You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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