before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
