Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
