i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize