Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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