just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
