Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
