Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
