He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I deserve this hangover.
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