Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
