I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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