My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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