Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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