remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
